I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Remember last September when photographers caught Gwyneth Paltrow nearly killing herself and daughter Pineapple by pulling out in front of a school bus?

Well, Pineapple and Solomon’s — Those are their names, no? — saw saw the video they realized it was such a huge problem that the school has banned Vespas for drop-offs and pick-ups.

Funny, though, that the school cares more about Paltrow’s brood than she does, eh?

And, remember back in October — What? We’re playing Catch-up and Update in here? — when Chris Brown and one of his paid brutes beat the hell out of some guy in DC. Chrissy and the bodyguard were arrested for felony assault, although when the charges were downgraded to misdemeanors.

Well, Chrissy returned to LA where he’s due for another probation hearing—the same probation he’s been on since he beat the hell out of Rihanna—and he checked himself into “anger management” rehab in an effort to look, look, like he was trying to do better. His “team” said Chrissy might stay in anger management rehab for three months but …

Yeah. He’s already out.

He left the rehab facility though his people say he’s still receiving treatment.

Uh huh. At least until he decides to beat someone else down, and you know he will.

Mooriah.

Girl, do not make a mistake around Mariah Carey because she’ll throw you under the bus, eat a twelve course meal, put on a bevy of fur coats, then get in the bus and drive over you again.

See, last week, Mariah released her new single — The Art Of Letting Go — on Facebook and lotsa folks wondered what was wrong with it.

Well, apparently some random guy, er, sound engineer, er, computer geek, uploaded an unfinished mix of the song instead of the completed version and Mooriah went off on him on Facebook:

 “A mistake was made by a brand new sound engineer whose only task was to press the space bar and upload the song to Facebook, while my team, and an incredible group of people from Facebook, partied while listening to the properly mixed and mastered version of ‘The Art of Letting Go’ on repeat from my iPod on my home speakers.

Clearly, I was focused on answering your questions during the Q&A. There was no reason for me to wonder if the final mix we were listening to in that room together was different than what you were listening to!”

I’ve a feeling that sound engineer is still being scraped off a highway somewhere with bus tracks on his back.

Shia LaBeouf; it’s French for Giant Douche, I think.

He made a movie — Charlie Countryman — recently and  decided to drop acid to get into his character’s head.

M’kay, that’s stupid, but then came the realization that the character in the film never dropped acid, he took ecstasy, and according to the film’s director Fredrik Bond, Shia didn’t need to take anything at all:

“In the script, it’s Carpathian ecstasy, a special hostel ecstasy that exists in maybe just Bucharest … So, Shia said he took acid? I didn’t know he went out and said that. But it was always ecstasy in the script.”

Maybe Shia LaBeouf is French for Inane Lunatic.

Why … you … ungrateful … little … bitc — Terrence Howard.

Howard played Rhodey, Tony Stark’s best friend, in the first Iron Man movie and, since it was the only Iron Man movie I saw, I’d say he was pretty good. But, from the sounds of it, as the studio prepared for Iron Mans 2 through 187, Howard became less good.

It seemed he thought he deserved more money because he’s the star of the movie and … Wait. What? Terrence Howard wasn’t the star? Robert Downey, Jr. was? Well, then how come Howard began demanding more dough before he’d sign on for 2 through 187?

Ego. Kanye West sized ego. And the producers called his bluff and instead of giving him a hefty salary increase they gave his role to Don Cheadle — a much better actor by the way. But now Howard is coming out and blaming RDJr for what happened.

While being interviewed on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, Howard claims he was instrumental in getting RDJr cast as Iron Man and that RDJr repaid him by taking the money he was owed for Iron Man 2 for himself, and not calling him back for 3 months:

“This is gonna get me in a lot of trouble, but who gives a f-ck. It turns out that the person that I helped become Iron Man, when it was time to re-up for the second one, took the money that was supposed to go to me and pushed me out. We did a three-picture deal. That means you did the deal ahead of time. A certain amount for the first one, a certain amount for the second, a certain amount for the third. They came to me with the second and said, ‘Look, we will pay you one-eighth of what we contractually had for you, because we think the second one will be successful with or without you.’ And I called my friend, that I helped get the first job, and he didn’t call me back for three months.”

How credible is Terrence Howard anyway? Not; if he had a three-picture deal and contract, then the studio would have had to use him, or pay him, so his whole ‘I came up with RDJr as Iron Man.’ Is ridic.

Terrence Howard. Really. Really? Sit.Down.

So James Franco. Loathe him. No one talks up Franco more than Franco; in fact, he’s his favorite subject. And, speaking of subjects …

Franco is a college professor now. He’s been teaching for a few semesters off and on at UCLA and at NYU—which is weird, because Franco had an NYU professor fired fir giving him a ‘D’ in class. Which makes one wonder what Franco’s “students” think of him as teacher.

And we now know:

* “Amazing class because we got to make a feature film with A list talent. But James seems sleepy and distracted and doesn’t give feedback because he doesn’t read our writing. The concept for the class is great. But James is a joke of a professor.”

* “James is a nice guy, but he’s a really terrible professor. He never grades the papers on time because he is always asleep in class. I once got an F on a test because I wouldn’t share my meatball sub with him. Our improv lessons sucked because he wanted us to be the Green Goblin and chase him around the room. Do not take this class — he reeks of weed.”

Now, those stories seem far-fetched, but there is photo evidence of Franco asleep during a grad-school lecture and even Mila Kunis said he often fell asleep on the set of Oz.

I kinda get it because every time I see James Franco I wanna go to sleep, too.

Kim Kash Kow Kardashian's little sister, Kendall Jenner recently turned 18, and so is it really any surprise that she's begun showing off her breasts. i mean, she learned from the best at self-sexploitation and she has a mother who's whore out any of her children if she thought she could make a dollar off of it.

She recently posted that picture up there, without the nipple covering X's, on Instagram for all the world to see.

And she can do that; I mean, she's of age, i guess, and it's her heritage, I guess. Which means one day she may be knocked up by an egotistical ALLEGEDLY gay rapper.

Just sayin'.