Saturday, February 24, 2018

It's Snarkurday!

I love a proud mom of a gay son, who just wants her boy to be happy.

I’m looking at you, Sally Field, who is trying to hook her gay son Sam Griesman up with Olympic darling … and America’s Sweetheart … Adam Rippon.

It seems that Sam and Sally were watching the Olympics and texting about Adam and how cute he is, and like every mom who wants her son to be happy, Sally decided to hook Sam up with Adam via social media.

After Sam posted the conversation with his mother, Sally tagged Adam on it and told Sam to …
Find a way [to meet Adam].”
And now Adam has responded:
“Sally! She bold.
And then he posted a message for Sam:
 “Sam, your mom – I admire her. And I’m sure one day we’re going to meet! So, thanks, mom.”
And I’m sure Sally will make that meeting happen … and she will be there!
For years Jamie Foxx and his BFF Tom Cruise’s ex, Katie Holmes, have been bumping uglies dating but they almost never talk about it and are rarely seen together. But recently the two have been spotted holding hands on long romantic beach walks, but that just may be a hallucination, because Jamie Foxx will walk out on you if you bring up her name.

Recently, Foxx played in the NBC All-Star Celebrity Game and was interviewed by ESPN beforehand. He seemed in good spirits, but then interviewer Michael Smith asked about Katie, and the photos that surfaced of Foxx and Holmes playing basketball together on Valentine’s Day:
“I know you’ve prepared and I saw pictures. Did you and Katie Holmes play basketball for Valentine’s Day? Like some real Love & Basketball?”
Foxx instantly got his panties in a snit and had his assistant remove him from the interview as he refused to answer the question.

Note to self: don’t ask Jamie about Katie. Like that would ever happen because I could care less about the two of them, handholding or not.

Still, it was fun to see Jamie Foxx get all pissy.
Speaking of love … no matter how many of you want it to happen, I don’t think Brad and Jen are gonna get back together.

Dry your eyes. According to sources—and it’s not La Jolie—Brad has not reached out to ex-wife Jennifer Aniston since her split from “bouncy jogger” Justin Theroux. But, Brad did say he was “sad” about the split: “Brad is of course sad to hear the news about Jen’s divorce. He only wishes the best for her. However, Brad hasn’t reached out to Jen, and has no plans to do so at this point.”

Again, dry your eyes, plus, there’s this …?
Were Jen and Justin even really married?

Aniston and Theroux had a wedding at their Bel-Air manse in 2015, but TMZ says that they checked the marriage records in L.A. County and didn’t find a marriage license for them. TMZ says they went as far back as 2010.

Was it a wedding, or just a really expensive commitment ceremony?

Now, the now-unhappy couple could have gotten a marriage license in any of the 57 other counties in California, but several people close to Aniston say there have long been rumors that there was no legal marriage.
Tribeca residents better be nice because Taylor Swift is buying up blocks of real estate in the area and, if they’re mean, they might be the target of an entire album of stupid pop songs about mean people.

Swifty just purchased a $9.75 million apartment at 155 Franklin St. where she already owns an 8,000-square-foot penthouse duplex; last fall she bought a three-story townhouse next door, at 153 Franklin, for $18 million.

And already the neighbors are annoyed:
 “We don’t need celebrities here that will draw the focus [of] the paparazzi or extra fan attention. [There’s already a] small swarm of teenage girls lurking and swooning outside [Swift’s home regularly].”
And clearly, that neighbor isn’t the only one irked at the Swift Invasion; days after Swifty purchased the townhouse, someone posted a flier that said—“Taylor Swift Can Go F–k Herself”—to  a Tribeca lamppost.

And brokers don’t like her either, it seems, because the firm of Douglas Elliman is suing her for unpaid commissions of $1.6 million related to the townhouse sale.

Wow; if this keeps up there will be several Swift albums about mean neighbors and bad realtors.
On the other side of the coin, the side being the one where the star can no longer avoid real state purchases, we find one Lisa Marie Presley. Despite being the sole heir to the Kingdom of The King, Lisa Marie claims to be in debt to the tune of $16 million.

In her ongoing divorce from her third, or fourth, husband, Michael Lockwood, Lisa Marie claims she owes over $16 million, with more than $10 million of that coming from unpaid taxes between 2012 and 2015. Lisa Marie is also trying to unload her home in England ever since she defaulted on that mortgage—another $6 million. The rest of her money woes are tied up in credit card debt and unpaid attorney bills.

Lisa Marie’s financial woes came to light last year when she accused her managers of decimating her $300 million fortune. Now, she is ALLEGEDLY living rent-free with her daughter, Riley Keough, while her twin daughters are staying with Grandma Priscilla.

Lisa Marie sold off 85% of Elvis Presley Enterprises in 2004 for $100 million, but the estate still brings in $20 million each year.  If she’s not careful, Lisa Marie’s next home might be In The Ghetto or Jailhouse Rock or Love Me With Legal Tender.

Just a thought … why doesn’t Lisa Marie write those nasty neighbor songs for Swifty since Swifty is loaded; the Lisa Marie can pay off her debts and Swifty might actually put out a tune that doesn’t sound like something a cat coughed up on the rug.
Talk about your odd couplings …

Queen Elizabeth II was front row … the f**king front row … at London Fashion Week and she was seated right next to Anna “Nuclear” Wintour!

The Queen surprised many who thought she knew nothing about fashion, and many in the crowd were certain Anna would bitchslap Her Royal Highness for those hats.

But the Queen of England and the Queen of Fashion played nice, and even smiled and chatted with one another, though I assume that QEII wasn’t exactly sure who Wintour was and why she didn’t take off those damned glasses.

I mean, the Queen had plenty of room in her bag to hold them if that’s what was worrying Anna.

Friday, February 23, 2018

PR All-St★rs 6 Ep 7: Eyes On The Stars, Heads In Uranus

This week the designtestants go on a field trip to the Hudson River Museum where they meet Alyssa in the planetarium. She tries to link fashion and space before telling the designtestants that this week’s challenge is an avant-garde look inspired by space and planets and stars and black holes … oh my. They’ll have a huge budget on $350 and two entire days to complete their looks.

Anthony lifts his arms and sighs:
“I knew you’d hear my cry, Father.”
But first the designtestants will watch a special PR Planetarium Show™ before they can dash off to Mood.

So, let’s rip ….

EDMOND He was giving me Judy Jetson but could have pushed it further.

HELEN I hate this; the model looks thick and dumpy and the hair was an idiotic choice.

KEN It’s a mushroom … now, maybe it’s a truffle to some, but it’s still a mushroom.
He was inspired by Neptune, which is cold and dark and windy, so he decides to give his girl a coat … of fringe. I wasn’t getting it, until I saw that he was going to quilt the fringe and have some pieces hang loose. I still didn’t like it, but now I got it.

Anne Fulenwider also doesn’t get and worries the judges won’t get it either … or at least not see the quilting detail. But Fabio sticks to his idea because the idea, and the fringe is all he’s got. He does stumble when making sleeves, and so decides to scrap those in favor of some braided fringe detail.

Again. I don’t get it.

Thank god you can see that quilting.

I’m getting less interplanetary and more Mod Native American from this look.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves that it’s a different perspective and loves the ease of the look and the fringe, but feels the top is unresolved. Damn those sleeves! Isaac Mizrahi—and this is why I love him—says “It doesn’t work, except it great, except it’s hideous and I can look at it.” Guest Judge, Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson says to Isaac, “I don’t think it’s the ugliest thing on the runway at all,” and said he loves the movement of the fringe. Fellow Guest Judge RuPaul likes it, but wishes the length was better—shorter or longer—and the sleeves had some length …if there were, in fact, sleeves.
Anthony, who reminds everyone that he does gowns, is gonna switch it up this week and do pants! Oh :::gasp::: no! But he’s inspired by the rings of the Milky Way and wants to mimic that in a pant, along with some crystals and some paint.

Anne is not feeling the paint so much and not feeling the crystals at all; she warns him to watch the sparkle, which Anthony finds funny after viewing all the Marie Claire covers on the walls, each one with some kind of bling on the model. He will not be taking Anne’s advice this week and so he crystals and paints and adds a circular hand painted piece to the bodice. Um … okay?

I am quite proud of this look …and the way the pants are moving.

I like the pants, but that round thing on the front scream paint-splattered pizza box to me.

Alyssa says it keeps on giving from every single angle, while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ says it’s fun, and that she loves the exaggerated peplum on the pants. Isaac Mizrahi also loves the avant-garde pants, and the breast-less breastplate, while Jesse Tyler Ferguson calls the round box “Spin Art.”  RuPaul simple wants to “take a chance with pants” and loves that Anthony gave them hips and back.
If ever oh ever there was a week for Merline, this is it; her clothes have long been called Star Trek and Star Wars, so this is her week to really shine, eh? Or, is it her week to make the same dress and same architectural shapes she makes every week.

She is orbit-inspired dress and wants her “shapes to do the talking” but all they’re saying is, “We’ve already done this.”

And even Anne tells her that this challenge is the time for her to really reach and push herself, and she needs that because the dress she’s looking at is something everyone has seen before.

She looks strong … it’s the whole package.

It’s the same shapes, the same architecture, the same oddly shaped hem, only this time in white instead of blue or gray.

Isaac Mizrahi says it’s divine in white and could see a whole collection in varying colors. But The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ worries that she’s getting the same dress every week and again warns Merline to expand. Jesse Tyler Ferguson loved that you could see the seaming in the white fabric and RuPaul said the model looked “like a Bond villain.”
At the planetarium, Joshua sees Pluto and loves the idea of the hard surfaces and the nitrogen ice; he opts to make hot glue ice and hardcore chaps because …. Oh, who the hell knows? But he whines about the gluing and his arm workout and I’m worried his eyebrow pencil will melt and run down his face from the heat and exertion.

Anne is also worried, especially when he tells her he’s also going to make “editorial bondage gear.” Anne sniffs condescendingly and says it’s been done before, and Joshua sniffs slightly more condescendingly and says, “The wheel’s been done, I’m merely adding a spoke.”

I think Anne wants to poke him in the eye with that spoke and I don’t really blame her. He refuses to listen and then finds his fabric palette to be less than complimentary to what I will call, for now, dripping glue pieces.

This is a true look.

It looks like someone had a bukkake party in the workroom. Cum again?

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves the idea of the glue stick but hates the fabrics and doesn’t know if the look needed all the other bits and pieces. She asks Joshua to explain his thoughts behind the look, and he gets pissy, and replies, “That’s it baby. That’s what you’re gonna get.” RuPaul calls it “next level gay s—” and thinks it’s outrageous and crazy and so wrong it’s right. Isaac says the colors are something out of a 1970s motel room that you will not stay in. RuPaul calls it “space queen porno” and Jesse Tyler Ferguson says, “It’s the end of the scene, too.” Alyssa asks why he chose the colors, Joshua sniffs, “It’s literal to the plant.” Alyssa then says they want to see what Joshua is capable of, but not necessarily all in one look, to which he pisses, “This isn’t all I can do … this is what I have today, so either you want to see more—” Alyssa cuts him off, “Let’s move on.” But Isaac gets the laugh word, and laugh, when he says, “It’s one of the ugliest things I’ve seen, so maybe it should win.”
She claims to be inspired by a neutron star and how it collapses but she cannot explain it to anyone, even herself. She liked the gold and the orange and the black and there was something about collapsing and …

Anne looks at it and all she can see is the collapse … perhaps of Kimberly’s time on the PR.

I like the crystals [but] wish I had more leather.

It looks like a costume from the sequel to ‘Universal Soldier,’ called ‘Universal Hooker.’

Everyone laughs because even Kimberly cannot explain how her dress resembles a neutron star. Isaac likes some of it but doesn’t think it’s avant-garde. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ calls it confused and claustrophobic and said it needed to be stronger. Jesse Tyler Ferguson asked if he could buy the top to use as a Christmas Tree skirt and RuPaul said it was reminiscent of a Quentin Tarantino villainess. Isaac then decided that the more he looked at it, the more he liked it, and The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said that was just because he was “cross” with Joshua.
Stanley wanted to bring a solar eclipse to the runway … too bad he couldn’t have brought it before Joshua’s walked … but also wanted to do separates and simplicity.

Anne liked the separates but worried that the look was too simple to be avant-garde. He tells her to wait and see … and then he creates a kind of horror movie murderer mask, you know, if the murderer had a fashion sense, and I was worried that he was pinning all his avant-garde hopes on a chic face-mask.

She looks incredible … like a solar eclipse.

It looks so simple. I like it but is it avant-garde.

Alyssa called it dreamy, and everyone agreed. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thinks the proportions are “wonderful” and she says the bow “gives her everything.” She was also surprised that, even though the model’s waist was lost, the look still had a beautiful shape. Isaac Mizrahi loved it because avant-garde doesn’t have to be exaggerated, and this look was simple and witty and lighthearted. Jesse Tyler Ferguson thought it too wearable to be avant-garde and said it was something Gwen Stefani would wear to brunch. RuPaul loved the matte fabric saying it didn’t need bling to make a statement.
Stanley, for knowing how to do avant-garde fashion simply and with a face-mask, no less, wins the week, while Kimberly will have to explain why her star has collapsed.

God, I wanted Joshua to go for being so pissy and full of himself. Here’s the real deal, sweetie, if you were a truly great designer you wouldn’t be giving the PR a second chance because you wouldn’t need it. You are a shock monkey and that’s your trick and it’s old. You hate the critiques because they’re wrong? They aren’t; that look was a hot slimy sperm gown over some ugly chaps.  I hope next week is your last.

Now, onto some great lines, and all, once again, from Anthony: as Helen kvetches about the challenge, Anthony says:
“Don’t lose your mind, Helen. Lose this contest, Helen, but don’t lose your mind.”
And then he sips his tea. Then, when Kimberly announces that the designtestants hold a moment of silence for Char, he says:
“Damn, did she die or get eliminated?”
Kimberly reminds him it was just elimination and he adds:
“If they get my ass up out of here, y’all better have a whole damn remembrance.”
Later, watching the looks leave for the runway he says:
“I see Kimberly’s look and her model is ass out, but then I look across the room and see Josh’s look, then I see Helen’s look, and I think to myself, ‘Battle of the streetwalkers.'” 
Snap. But my favorite Anthony-ism was when he studied his look and said:
“Oooooh, you like it Stan?”
And Stanley said:
“I think a little Soul Train cartoon is coming through.”
And as Anthony gives him the Death Star, Stanley reminds him he was just joking, to which Anthony says:
“No, ‘cause the went through you so fast, but after the runway tomorrow, I need to holler at you in the ladies’ room.”
I imagine it would be to congratulate Stanley on his win?

Now, The Tents: Fabio, Ken, Anthony, Stanley … or a combination thereof. Helen? I can’t. Joshua? I won’t. Edmond? I so want to, but it doesn’t look like it’s in the cards.

Lastly, this is for the producers; I like Alyssa Milano, I do. I follow her on Twitter and she’s politically savvy and active and smart and funny. But, BUT, if we could have co-hosts for the show every week and those co-hosts could be Jesse Tyler Ferguson and RuPaul, it would be a smash …especially in combination with Isaac Mizrahi, whom I adore, and The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™.

Just sayin’.

What did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ...

Greg Gutfeld, Fox News Loon, offering a solution to school shootings:

“Society is changing. You have to teach kids how to respond. You have to be rational about it, which means hardening soft targets through drills and training. Learning combat. Learning hand-to-hand combat. This works, by the way, for terror, if there’s a terror attack, and it works for school shootings. How do you improve upon this rationally? Well, you train them. That simple. Self-defense classes are the best thing for a kid.”

Yes, let’s send all out kids to combat school rather than making it more difficult to buy an assault weapon, rather than thoroughly vetting those who want guns.
Jimmy Kimmel, after the shooting in Parkland, and after playing a clip of _____ saying “no parent should ever have to fear for their sons and daughters when they kiss them good-bye in the morning”:

“Here’s what you do to fix that. Tell your buddies in Congress—tell Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell and Marco Rubio, all the ‘family’ men who care so much about their communities—that what we need are laws. Real laws that do everything possible to keep assault rifles out of the hands of people who are going to shoot our kids. Go on TV and tell them to do that. Tell these Congressmen and lobbyists, who infest that swamp you said you were going to drain, force these allegedly Christian men and women who stuff their pockets with money from the NRA year after year after year to do something. And don’t you dare let anyone say it’s too soon. Children are being murdered. Do something. We still haven’t even talked about it. You still haven’t done anything about this. Nothing. You’ve literally done nothing. Actually you’ve done worse than nothing. You like to say this is a mental health issue, but one of your very first acts as president … was to actually roll back the regulations that were designed to keep firearms out of the hands of the mentally ill. You did that. Your party voted to repeal the mandates on coverage for mental health. So, I agree, this is a mental illness issue because if you don’t think we need to do something about it, you are obviously mentally ill. Whatever you do, do something because I, for one, am very, very, very, very tired of this.”

Let’s see, you roll back healthcare for mentally ill people, you take away stipulations that people with mental illnesses cannot get a gun, then a lunatic shoots up a school and you say the problem is mental illness?
Nope, you are the problem.
Gus Kenworthy, on learning that his post-run kiss with his boyfriend at the Olympics, was going viral:

“[I] didn't realize this moment was being filmed yesterday but I'm so happy that it was. My childhood self would never have dreamed of seeing a gay kiss on TV at the Olympics but for the first time ever a kid watching at home CAN! Love is love is love.”

My adult self never thought I’d see that kiss.
Times do change.
Love is love.
Todd Starnes, another Fox News Loon, on the surviving students of the Parkland school shooting being brainwashed by the “government-funded indoctrination camps” AKA public schools:

“The Mainstream Media is using survivors of the Florida school shooting as propaganda pawns to attack President Trump, the NRA and the Second Amendment. They are literally using children as human shields in their bloodthirsty attempt to take down the president … The media and the Democrats are coming after gun owners in America. This is right out of the Saul Alinsky propaganda playbook, ladies and gentlemen, and it is getting ugly. I’m not sure how many Republicans are going to be able to hold the line on this. We can't fault the children's ideology - they don't know any better. They've been brainwashed by government-funded indoctrination camps - pardon me - public schools.”

No, it’s called common sense, you dick; it’s called finally having enough, finally seeing one too many Americans killed because the right, and rightwingnut pasty-faced trolls like Starnes, think the NRA is their chance they get.
That time, I hope, is coming to an end, and Republicans will lose their jobs and people like Starnes might also.
Bye Felicia.

Stephen Colbert, on the Parkland, Florida High School shooting, and Marco Rubio:

“As long as you’re being clear and honest, Senator [Rubio], as a lawmaker your position is ‘the laws are useless! Everyone into the Thunderdome!’ … Then why do we need you? It seems like a houseplant would do a better job and [playing the well-known thirsty Rubio clip from his State of the Union response] it would probably need a little less water. I hope these kids don’t give up, because this is their lives and their future. Someone else may be in power, but this country belongs to them. And there is reason for hope: Look at the #MeToo movement. A lot of men in power did not see that coming, but it proved that change can happen overnight. And this is an election year — so if you want to see change, you have to go to the polls and tell the people who will not protect you that their time is up.”

All these politicians muttering about “the kids” don’t realize that those kids will be voters soon, and they won’t forget.
It’s hard to forget seeing your friends massacred at school.
Fergie, responding to the talk about her horrific—my ears are still bleeding—version of the Star-Spangled Banner at the NBA All-Star Game :

“I’ve always been honored and proud to perform the national anthem and last night I wanted to try something special for the NBA. I’m a risk taker artistically, but clearly this rendition didn’t strike the intended tone. I love this country and honestly tried my best.”

Honey, if that was your best …perhaps when you recorded your version, you should have listened to it, and then maybe you would have realized that it was more comedy and blood-curdling, than musical.
John Oliver, on the shooting at, and the student of, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School:

“These events are now so familiar, we basically automatically know how each side will play out: ‘thoughts and prayers,’ ‘f**k your thoughts and prayers,’ ‘it’s a mental health problem,’ ‘yeah, but it’s also a gun problem,’ and then someone says ‘now’s not the time to talk about gun control,’ and then everybody moves on until it inevitably happens again. But this time felt slightly different because when the ‘now’s not the time’ argument came out, the kids from that school said, ‘You know what? Yes it f**king is.’”

It’s long past time and thank goodness these ‘kids’ have taken up the battle because something just might get done this time.

Thursday, February 22, 2018


Oh, don’t those Florida lawmakers realize that those kids are going to be voters sooner, rather than later.

Apparently not, because while hundreds of Parkland, Florida shooting survivors looked on, the Florida House of Representatives rejected a motion to consider a ban on assault rifles. Then, less than an hour later, they passed a bill to declare porn a public health risk.

Florida lawmakers: guns are good, porn is a health risk.

At work, down one of the hallways, we have a series of commendations given to the business by our little city. Last week, the electrician came to fix a wiring problem and a hole was left in the wall until he could finish the job.

Someone suggested another commendation to hang over the hole.

Someone else suggested we just take a picture of our fearless leader/owner, frame it, and hang it over the hole.

I, however, suggested, we just take a frame, place it over the hole so you can still see the hole, and then label it with the boss’s name.

How I’m still employed there is beyond me.
Dwaine Caraway, the Mayor Pro Tem of Dallas, Texas, does not want the National Rifle Association to meet in his city and is urging the NRA to find someplace else for annual convention.
"It is a tough call when you ask the NRA to reconsider coming to Dallas. But it is putting all citizens first and getting them to come to the table and elected officials to come to the table, and to address this madness now."
He says the meeting is not appropriate in the wake of last week's school shooting in Florida, or in the wake of the 2016 ambush that killed five Dallas officers, and the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Dear Politicians, Please, be like Dwaine.
Six Republican lawmakers in South Carolina—Representatives Steven Long, William Chumley, James Mikell Burns, John McCravy III, Josiah Magnuson, and Richard Martin—have introduced a bill that would define any marriage not between a man and a woman as a “parody marriage.”

 Parody? Fuck off. I wanna introduce legislation that would call any lawmaker who cannot get over the fact that The Gays can get married as “parody lawmakers” and have them removed from office for wasting everyone’s time.
The other morning, I was driving Carlos to work and asked if he’d taken anything from the freezer for dinner that night …
“I’m cooking?”
We take turns, generally, and so I replied:
"But I cooked last night.”
"Did you?”
“I did.”
What did you cook?”
“That Pork and Black Bean stew and the cornbread.”
“Did you cook it, or did you just reheat the dinner I made from the night before, because reheating is not cooking.”
“It’s not … ?”
Goddess love that man.
Tyler Tannahill, a Marine veteran and Leavenworth, Kansas Republican looking to replace Lynn Jenkins in Kansas’ second congressional district is giving away an AR-15 rifle for his campaign.

Yes, days after that same weapon was used to slaughter high school students and faculty in Florida, this asshat wants to give one away.

This, THIS, is the problem with the GOP and this, THIS, is why they need to be removed from office or kept from office. Are you listening Kansas?
Openly gay actor Russell Tovey is engaged to be married to his boyfriend Steve Brockman, a rugby player for the Kings Cross Steelers:
“Completely unexpected but very very happy and looking forward to having a proper party to celebrate when back in London.”

Congrats to the happy, hot, couple!
The other day I ranted about _____ and Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio about their actions, and nonactions, before and after this latest—because there will be more—mass shooting in Florida. Now I turn my attention to that flabby bag of illiterate skin called Ted Cruz.

Cruz appeared on “Fox & Friends” the day after the shooting and openly mocked the idea of doing anything about gun control. When bimbo anchor Ainsley Earhardt asked how the GOP should respond to calls for gun control…Ted.Cruz.Laughed:
“The reaction of the Democrats to any tragedy is to start to politicize it, so they immediately start calling that we’ve got to take away Second Amendment rights of law-abiding citizens. That’s not the right answer.”
Really, asshat? No one, no one, is suggesting taking away the Second Amendment you fearmongering mother fucker. They are simply asking for some responsible legislation to perhaps avoid more and more innocent Americans being slaughtered in school or church or the movies or the mall or a concert.

Cruz’s answer to these deadly shootings is to send his “thoughts and prayers” because those save lives.

In better funnier news, openly gay Olympic skier Gus Kenworthy was being harassed by an online troll who goes by the name of one of _____’s lawyers, who posed the question:
“Question is, if men marry men and women marry women who will produce children in this world”
Kenworthy was ready with the perfect response:
“Hopefully not you.”
To end this post with hotness, this week marked the 38th birthday of hot hot hot model David Gandy, who never met a pair of underwear, or even less, that he didn’t want to pose in.

Um … yum.